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Now that the holidays are over, we can catch our breath and settle into the New Year. If you’re like me, the hustle and bustle of December have left you feeling exhausted and in need of some time for self-care.  I’d like to take a few moments though to pause for reflection on the true gifts of the season we just wrapped up.

No doubt the holiday season is busy and often hectic.  We juggle visits with family and friends, holiday dinners and cocktail parties, Christmas shopping, entertaining and baking.  It can be overwhelming.  Personally, I kind of like the rush.  It’s like a one-month sprint to the finish line, reminiscent of cramming for finals back in college.  We know exactly what date and time our last exam is and we just have to cram as much preparation in that time leading up to exams and then we can relax for a bit before starting our crazy cycles all over again.

One of the things I enjoy most about the holidays is that it gives us an opportunity to spend time with family and friends and really feel grateful for those moments and those people in our lives. For us, that meant having dinner with some of my husband’s oldest friends, having a girls night with a group of ladies that inspire me to be my best self,  having a wonderful overnight anniversary celebration with my husband, catching up with a friend for our annual Christmas happy hour, attending the New Year’s Eve wedding of our dear friends’ daughter, hosting friends and neighbors over to our home for dinner, and last but not least, spending time with family, near and far.  It was a busy month.

I am the kind of person who thoroughly enjoys taking the time to find the perfect gift for someone.  When choosing a gift, I am trying to select something that will have meaning or somehow bring joy to the recipient.  I have to say this year, I received one of the most thoughtful gifts from one of the aforementioned friends. It was a simple coffee mug that says “Fearless” on the front, and on the back, outlines all the ways to be fearless.  That my friend saw this mug and thought of me, speaks volumes.  She sees me as fearless & courageous.  She has been with me through some of my struggles and I have walked beside her through some of hers.  I could just have easily picked out this mug for her had I seen it, for I could say the same things about her.  I see her strength.  She sees mine.  I see her determination and fighting attitude.  She sees mine. I see her resilience.  She sees mine.  In the end, the best gift of all wasn’t the actual mug. It was the message on the ug which I consider to be a huge compliment and form of validation.

What is so powerful to me is that growing up, I would have never described myself as fearless.  If anything, just the opposite would have been true. I was afraid of many things….afraid to make a mistake, afraid to make a bad choice, afraid to take a chance, afraid to be embarrassed, afraid to be alone, afraid to fly, etc.  I lacked the confidence to be fearless.  It wasn’t until I was doing an internship in college that my mentor described me as “fearless” in his review of me.  I will never forget his words because they were some of the most powerful words anyone had to that point used to describe me.  He said “Nancy is seemingly fearless in her ability to tackle the assignments I present her.  Whereas other students may be intimidated by the assignment, she jumps right in.”  All I knew is that I was doing what was asked of me.  I didn’t realize he was testing me. Looking back, that was a turning point for me.  Because someone else had described me as “fearless”, I began to adopt that mindset that yes, I can be “fearless.”  I can be bold.  I can do things!

My point is that sometimes we don’t see in ourselves that which others see in us.  Sometimes self-reflection is hard.  Often times we sell ourselves short and minimize our best traits or skills.  If you are wondering how others see you, just ask a couple of your good friends or colleagues whom you respect.  I did this a couple of years ago and I can tell you, it was very enlightening.  Perception is reality and while we shouldn’t live our lives trying to win a popularity contest or trying to be all things to all people, it can be helpful and useful to get that kind of feedback from people in your inner circle, especially if you are struggling with issues of self-esteem, contemplating making big changes in your life,  or just wanting to pause for some self-reflection to make sure you are operating at the frequency you wish to be at.

So for 2022, let’s resolve to move through the year with a Fearless and Faithful attitude that we can face whatever the new year brings us, both good and bad, and have faith that we do not walk our path alone.  Be Fearless.  Be Courageous.  Be Powerful!

In an earlier post, I wrote about friendship and how we have many different types of friends and relationships throughout our lives.

When we are younger, we don’t necessarily see this because most of our friends tend to be people we grew up with and went to school with.  College friendships & childhood bonds can be strong and lifelong, but they also lead us to our professional relationships and the friends we make in the workforce.  Then if we get married and start a family, we become friends with the parents of the other kids that our friends become friends with and play sports with.  When we look back, we can see how one relationship leads to another.  We can see how life moves us through one phase and gives yield to another phase.  And within each phase, are the people and relationships we need to carry us through that phase and into the next.  We can see our life as a collection of different memories and experiences shared with different people.

The universe knows what we need to get through the next stage in our lives and it provides for us.  I don’t believe these are coincidences. I think things happen the way they are meant to and people cross our paths for a reason.  We may not be aware of that reason or even know we need them at the time, but later we can connect the dots and see how things fell into place.  Some part of their being or their energy was needed in our lives at that particular time.  These people are serving a purpose in our lives.  Conversely,  are also serving a purpose in the lives of the people we encounter without even realizing it either.  Someone somewhere out there needs something only our energy can provide.

Like most people at the stage of life I am in now, I find myself becoming more introspective and self-reflective.  I can look at relationships and see patterns.  I can see that someone came into my life for a season, and maybe in fact even just for a specific reason and for a very short time.  The season passes, their purpose fulfilled, and life keeps flowing. We don’t know as we are going through the trials and tribulations of life who are the people that will be with us through it all, all the way to the end, crossing the finish line with us.  Sometimes the people we think will always be there for us turn out to be the ones that fade away.   Sometimes. we are surprised by how much a friendship can grow when we never really gave it a second thought in the beginning.  The relationships that span the test of time truly are a blessing, but so are the the more brief encounters we have with certain people.

Recently I took my husband to the hospital for a CT scan.  The kindest man greeted us inside the hospital and directed us where to go. Once my husband was called back, I walked back up to the lobby to get a coffee.  The kind man, sensing my needs & my Fear, even as my facial expressions were hidden under my mask, came up to me as I was waiting in line.  He asked why we were there and then sharing a similar situation, asked if he could pray for both me and my husband by name.  As we chatted and exchanged names,  my husband called me from the area I left him in.  I excused myself, went back to see what he needed, and upon my return to the coffee counter, I found the kind man had already paid for my coffee.  His presence in that moment was serving me.  His thoughtfulness touched me and brought me comfort.  It also moved me to tears (which admittedly isn’t that hard to do these days).  He was there for a reason.  In my mind, he was an Angel named Dwayne purposefully put in my path.  He’s also not the first angel I believe I’ve encountered in my lifetime but I will save those stories perhaps for another blog post.

Also a couple of weeks ago, I was paying for my groceries when a handicapped woman pulled up behind me in her motorized grocery cart.  Seeing that it would be hard for her to unload her groceries herself, I unloaded them for her.  She was so grateful.  The simplest gesture by me made her day that much easier.  At that moment, I was a blessing to her for doing something so mundane.  If not for the gift of my friend who is also handicapped, I may not have even noticed she needed help.

Another day, a family friend asked me to reach out to her dad, as he is going through some difficult times and needed someone outside the family he could vent to.  We sat there having coffee together as the time flew by, both of us sharing the stories of our lives. He was choked up when I told him his daughter sent me.  It showed him how much she cared and that she realized his need.  He was grateful I took time out of my schedule to meet him early in the morning just to check in with him.  What he didn’t know is that our time together fed my soul a much as it did his. Two friends, listening to each other and offering support, really is what life is about.  I  once read that the sum total of our life’s worth isn’t the money in our bank accounts, but the quality of our relationships with others, and I fully believe this is true.

My point in all this is that it doesn’t take much for someone to touch us and for us to touch others.  Stop and take note of the simple things and the simple ways we can be there for each other as we walk through our journey of life.  Fearlessly and Faithfully, recognize those who are a blessing to us and try to be a blessing to others when you can.  It need not be a grand gesture.  It can be as simple as a phone call, a handwritten note, or just listening to a friend in need.   After all, we really are all just walking each other home.

What is music?  By definition, it is:   1. “The art of arranging sounds in time to produce a composition through the elements of melody, harmony, and timbre. 2 . Vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) combined in such a way as to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion.”  Music is one of the universal cultural aspects of all human society, and that is why I’d like to write today about the universal language of music and how it brings people together.

 One of the best things to come from the summer of 2021 was the return of live music.  Not all artists returned to the stage this year, but there was enough live music to get out there and enjoy one of the best things summer has to offer….live outdoor music!  Whether you were out listening to your favorite local bands on a patio, attending a music festival, or in a larger arena listening to your favorite artist, music definitely made a comeback!

A much-needed comeback.  After more than a year of shutdowns, mandates, and sacrifices, we needed to feel some sense of normalcy this summer.  We needed something to bring us together. Music, after all, is the medium that unites us.  People from all backgrounds, cultures, and interests can find common ground and enjoyment in music.  Travel to any country,  and you will hear music as an expression of their culture and their identity. We may not understand the language, but we feel what the music is saying.  Music brings people together and actually plays a role in bringing about social closeness through the release of endorphins.  We know this of course from Woodstock, Lollapalooza, and every major country superfest!

That’s because music moves us on every level.  When we hear music,  it enters our brains and then moves through our bodies.  It creates a feeling or a response inside us.  We either like that song or choose another.  Research says we actually have a dedicated part of our brain for processing music.  In fact, I guess you could say we are pre-wired for music.  It is meant to play a role somehow in our lives.  We know, for instance, that many Alzheimer’s patients can recall lyrics and melodies even though they can no longer remember or recognize their loved ones. When our memories begin to fail us, music is usually one of the last things we forget. Sometimes we even listen to music when we study because it can help us retain information, particularly classical music.  How many of us can remember lyrics to a song we haven’t heard in five years but can’t remember the name of that new restaurant we tried last week?  Once we hear the melody, it all comes back to us.

Music is so powerful that it can engage all of our emotions, be it joy, sadness, grief, confusion, heartbreak, sorrow, or ecstasy.  We listen to music when we celebrate and we listen to music when we mourn.  Music allows us to identify what we are feeling and relate it to a song.  Sometimes the music says the things we cannot say for ourselves.  If you want to really get to know someone, a friend once told me, ask them what their favorite songs are.  Those songs will give you a window into their soul.  That’s pretty profound when you think about it. Some people say music touches our souls in a very deep and meaningful way because as humans, we are poetic and relational, and we relate the songs to the rhythm of life.  Often as our lives go through different seasons, so does our taste in music evolve to correlate with the period we are in.  A well-written song is actually very poetic.  The lyrics can transcend time and apply to a large segment of the population.  There are several songs I can think of that were written decades ago whose lyrics are maybe more meaningful today than they were then.

                Some days I need the music and some days I need the lyrics.

Sometimes music is therapy. When we want to be alone or need some quiet time, what better way to relax & reflect than listening to the playlist that speaks to what we need at the moment?  Music helps us decompress and process our feelings.  Conversely, music can also be a great motivator with that killer playlist we need to power through another workout or cardio session. I know I cannot run even a mile without my music propelling me through.  That’s because I take my mind off running and actually just focus on the music and it’s the music that carries me through the workout.

If we thought about it, each one of us could probably write a playlist of our favorite songs that would be the soundtrack of our life.  I know for myself, I can hear a certain song and immediately be transported back to a place in time.  We connect our memories through music. One of my favorite artists, Kenny Chesney, says it best with his lyrics to ” I Go Back” when he says “We all have a song that somehow stamped our lives.  Takes us to another place in time….”.  My soundtrack would be composed of several songs by Kenny Chesney because his lyrics resonate with me.  My playlist would also include songs by The Michael Standley Band, Harry Connick Jr., The Eagles, Pink Floyd, and a mix of artists from the 70’s to today. Certain songs take me right back to 1986, Daytona Beach Spring Break.  Others remind me of the old juke box in my Dad’s bar.  Some remind me of a specific person and some remind me of a moment in time.  I don’t think it was a coincidence that on my 40th birthday, the Toby Keith song “As Good as I Once Was” kept coming on every time I changed the station in my car!  I also remember driving to the attorney’s office on my way to sign my divorce papers in 2012 when Keny Chesney & Dave Matthews serenaded me with  “I’m Alive”  The lyrics to that song are profound for me.  It was the perfect song at the perfect time….“Today’s the first day of the rest of my life and I’m alive, and well…”  Say no more.

Whatever your genre of choice is, I’m sure you can relate to what I’m saying.  Music is an important part of our culture.  From weddings to funerals to nightclubs, music brings people together.  It breaks down barriers.  It starts conversations. It punctuates relationships.  It helps us forget our troubles and allows us to connect with our true selves. It truly is the universal language that everyone speaks.  I encourage everyone to take a break today, channel The Doobie Brothers and Listen to the Music!

Last week, I wrote a tribute about the passing of my father.  The process of writing that post was very cathartic for me.  It helped me express my thoughts and feelings and in doing so, move forward through the emotions I was processing in a productive way. The many supportive and loving comments I received from so many of you truly touched my heart.  We all get so busy with our day-to-day activities of life and it is not lost on me when someone takes the time to reach out with their thoughts or let me know something I wrote touched them.  In fact, that is the greatest compliment I could ever receive.

In that post, I talked about the three signs I believed I had received from my father since he died.  Since then, some other things have happened to me which caused me a bit of anxiety and laughter at the same time.  Two days in a row last week, I received unmarked packages from Amazon with gifts in them, one being a beautiful wind chime with a poem about death attached to it, and the other being a silver dragonfly bracelet.  I was perplexed.  Who was sending me these gifts and why was there no card attached?  At first it was kinda fun until I started freaking myself out over it.  First the messages from Dad last week, and now this?  What was going on????  Me being me…the queen of overthinking everything….I wondered if there was some hidden meaning to all this. I shared what was happening with my life coach, and she encouraged me to research the meaning behind the dragonfly and its spiritual significance.  I even reached out to my eldest son for his help and wisdom on the matter.  In doing so, I could visualize his eyes rolling at me through the phone as I explained to him I needed his help.  “What now Mom?”  was exactly the tone I was perceiving!

I never knew there was any spiritual significance to the dragonfly but this is what I learned.

Legend Has It That Dragonflies Were Given an Extra Set of Wings So That Angels Could Ride on Their Backs. When You See This Winged Beauty It’s an Exquisite reminder That an Angel From Heaven Is Visiting You. 

Dragonflies are born underwater and take several months to several years to actually hatch and come up from the water.  Because of this, they are considered a symbol of change and transformation.  They can signify new beginnings, change, and strength.  Once they do emerge and begin life above water, they have a very short life span of only about six months.  This is believed to be a reminder to us that our time is short and we should live life to the fullest.  (Of course in my mind, I wondered if this was a sign that I only had six months to live!!!  Again, overthinking!   After some assurance from my coach that this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the person who has passed, I felt some relief! )

There is so much symbolism I found about the dragonfly.  So many parallels to life and spirituality. As the dragonfly gracefully maneuvers its environment and withstands the winds of storms, so too should we navigate life.  We should live life in the moment and adapt to whatever changes we need to as the dragonfly does.  Who would have thought that something so flimsy looking as the dragonfly is actually a symbol of strength and perseverance?

The Native Americans and many other cultures around the world think of the dragonfly as a spirit guide.  It is said to cross our paths when we are in moments of deep sorrow, joylessness, or going through deep change. If a dragonfly crosses our path, we are to examine our life, ask ourselves what emotions are we feeling, and is there something going on in our lives that we need to deal with.  Sometimes the dragonfly is believed to be a symbol for transformation within ourselves.  Some associate it with resurrection and new life, as well as the power of healing and transformation. As humans, we tend to not fully embrace change, but a dragonfly molts or sheds its outer coverings up to seventeen times in its short 6-month lifespan, hence, they are a symbol of growth and maturity and a reminder to us to embrace the changes life brings us and adapt accordingly.  How many times do we molt and change in our lives?  Do we adapt to the things around us gracefully or do we resist change at every turn because it scares us? Do we see change as a welcome opportunity to reinvent ourselves or as a necessary evil that makes us uncomfortable?

While the Bible doesn’t specifically mention dragonflies, many Christians associate them with the rebirth of Christ and his Ascension into Heaven. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us “Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away, behold, all things become new.”  Isn’t this what we want to believe happens after death?  The pain is wiped away and we are restored, whole, healthy, and new again in God’s image?   There are other parallels we can draw from the bible on this subject that all revolve around new life, being content with the life we have, and embracing change.  As the dragonfly flutters about Fearlessly and Faithfully relying on its own strength, shouldn’t we?

I am thankful that this silver dragonfly bracelet came in the mail, and I am even more thankful to the two beautiful women who gifted it to me.  (I am also extremely thankful to the helpful person at Amazon who helped me track the package and determine who sent these gifts to me so I could relax and get some sleep!)  Whenever I wear it and look down at my wrist, I will not only be reminded of them and my father but also of the strength I have inside. I will remember to make the most of each day, to share my gifts with others, and try to create something beautiful with my life to leave behind.  It is a reminder to be open to whatever life brings and trust that any transformation in my life will be for the greater good.

“Dragonflies are reminders that we are light and we can reflect light in powerful ways if we choose to do so.”

Robyn Nola

The last couple of weeks have been an overwhelming mix of thoughts and emotions for me.  My father passed away on July 6, and we laid him to rest nearly a week ago on July 13, 2021.  I started writing this post a couple of days after his passing, but I couldn’t finish it then.  I needed to sit with my grief for a bit, let my feelings settle, and wait until after we had said our final goodbyes.

We know that death is a reality of life but it’s true when they say nothing prepares you for it.  I thought I was ready.  In fact, I had prayed for it because I didn’t want him to suffer.  At 95 years old, he certainly lived a full life and my family was blessed to have all those years with him, especially since he was healthy up until the end.  Suddenly I found myself like everyone else in this situation, wishing I had one more day.  One more Christmas.  One more visit with him when he was well, sitting on my patio. I wish I had taken more pictures over the years!  Ninety-five years sounds like a lot of time, but it passes quickly.  Seeing his obituary in print was surreal.  As a writer, I know that seeing something in print makes it official.  Once it’s printed, it’s out there.

My father was a complex man of many accomplishments.  Born in Brooklyn, NY,  he was scrappy and raised with street smarts which he instilled in us.  The son of a longshoreman, he was tough.  He was a fighter.  He had grit.  I remember his words to me one day when I was in college, he said perseverance was the key, and boy did he show me what that word meant.  My dad never gave up, not even in the end.  He never gave up hope.  He never gave up the fight.  He never gave up his faith. He taught me not just to be tough, but to stand up for what’s right and to do the right thing.  He also always told me to be aware of my surroundings, know who’s around, and never take my eyes or my hands off my drink!  Good advice even today.

He dropped out of high school at the age of 17 to join the war effort.  He said that if his older brother, my Uncle Leo, was going to war, then he was too.  The Army enlisted him when he was 18 and my Dad joined Patton’s fight, storming Normandy, surviving the Battle of The Bulge, and many other battles.  He was highly decorated with several medals and honors and should have had the Purple Heart, but his Lieutenant pulled the paperwork after my Dad did something he wasn’t’ supposed to do. That’s my Dad….he wasn’t always one to follow the rules but he got the job done!  He did things “his way.”  My father was a sharpshooter, an undaunted soldier. He bravely helped liberate concentration camps and saved countless lives. Imagine the relief of those frightened and worn down prisoners at the sights and sounds of our American troops coming to free them.  Valiantly marching into battle risking their lives to save thousands of others.  That is bravery and courage!  That is being Fearless in the face of overwhelming uncertainty.  That was my father!

You don’t come out of the battle unscathed.  My father grew up in a time where men were taught to suppress their emotions.  Nobody talked about PTSD back then, but imagine what he saw in those still formative years of his life.  At 18 years old, he was arguably thrown into the worst battles where it was expected that most would not survive.  The military knew there would be a huge sacrifice of American lives but this was the only way to win the war.  My father lost many of his comrades and no doubt saw unspeakable things.  The war left a mark and it shaped him in many ways.  How could it not?  He brought home the battle scars where even something as innocent as hearing children screaming while playing brought back horrible images in his mind of the battlefield screams.  Growing up, it sometimes felt we were walking on eggshells and at other times, the kindness that was truly in his heart was obvious to us and others around him.  He wasn’t perfect but he always believed in what he was doing.  He was humble and carried big dreams in his heart, but those dreams often eluded him.  He wanted the best for us.  He would often quietly help others, even if he wasn’t necessarily in the best position to do so.  He lived through the great depression and stood in breadlines with his mom.  He understood that sometimes people just need a little help.  He understood because he had been there.  We weren’t rich, but we had plenty.  We didn’t talk about love or feelings, but we felt it. We grew up knowing what the words sacrifice, honor and respect meant.

Someone once said you’re never really a grown-up until you’ve had to bury a parent.  I agree there is truth in that statement.  No matter our age, we still see ourselves as kids. Mom and Dad’s kids.  Now we have to learn to navigate a world with one less parent and as crazy as this may sound, for me anyway, it creates a feeling of uncertainty.  We just expect our parents to always be there even though we know they won’t be.

In the first few days of my grief, I believe I received three messages from my dad.  One came to me in the form of a kind older man bagging my groceries at Kroger, the other was the next day when my son and I encountered a man with a dog named Rosie, after the dog I grew up with, who was my dad’s most loyal companion.  (I have never met another dog named Rosie so clearly this was a sign! ) And the third consecutive message was a random Tik-Tok video that popped of my Dad’s favorite pizza joint in Brooklyn, the legendary Spumoni Gardens.  I think he knew I needed to hear from him and he was letting me know he’s okay.  My faith tells me he is made whole again and he is rejoicing in the afterlife with his family and everyone else he’s been missing.  I want so much to believe this is true but nobody really knows.  We tell ourselves this to help lessen the heartache.  We walk in faith even when we sometimes question it because we don’t know what else to do.

To get through this life without him and navigate the pain of feeling like something is missing, I will hold onto my happy memories. When I remember my Dad, I will remember his emphasis on family, his unwavering love of country, and everything patriotic.  I will remember Sunday dinners when he would give us his concoction of  Lambrusco with 7-Up.  (He probably invented the wine spritzer we know today!)  I will remember him giving me the red quarters in the bar to play the pinball machines, bowling game, and Pac-Man.  I will remember the occasional Sunday treat of getting a banana split from Dairy Queen. I will remember making him a cup of tea as a kid and a sandwich, of which I always had to take the first bite “to make sure it tasted good” I would tell him.   I will remember him and Rosie walking to the newsstand to buy The Plain Dealer in the mornings.  As a kid, I was always going out for a run and ran on the track team.  I will remember him telling me to keep running because it will stretch my legs and make me taller.  Apparently, that didn’t work!  I will remember his idolization of Sinatra manifested in me being named after Nancy Sinatra. Maybe this is why I love to wear high-heeled boots. His favorite songs being “Summer Wind” and  his personal anthem “My Way.”  I will remember the time I wrecked the car but swore to him that I didn’t know how it happened! I will remember how proud he was of my boys and all his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I will remember the way he ate every morsel of the last meal I made him a couple of months ago, chicken piccata.  I will remember him every time my husband orders a strawberry milkshake, also his favorite, or whenever I make a pot of pasta fagioli.  I will remember his strong hands, and how my pinky finger bends that same way his does.  So many memories.  I will never forget.  I will remember.

My father is now back where he belongs.  He had a beautiful funeral that paid tribute to his life and his legacy.  We laid him to rest with full military honors alongside his brothers in arms at Western Reserve National Cemetery.  My father was born to lead the fight, and now he is with others who shared the same calling.  We can never comprehend the magnitude of their sacrifice but we hope in some small way we continue their legacy.   Dad was a soldier who through his heroic efforts, undoubtedly left the world a better place than he found it.  He is part of a lost generation.

Rest in peace Dad, the peace that you are so deserving of.  I will try to continue living as Fearless and Faithful as you did. I will continue to make my way in the world and hopefully make you proud.  I know you will be watching over all of us. Hopefully, I have passed a part of you along to Alex and Nick. I may have lost you to the summer wind, but you will always be with me.  You will always be with us.  May God bless you in Heaven, and may God bless America.

“Then softer than a piper man one day it called to you
I lost you, I lost you to the summer wind”

Love,  The Baby.

                                    http://

Let’s talk about happiness.  What is happiness?  The answer to that of course is going to be different for everybody, but in general, happiness is a state of mind where we feel contentment and perhaps joy about where we are in life or what is happening in our lives. When we are feeling happy, we feel more lighthearted. Happy people radiate positive energy and I think happiness spreads happiness.  When you smile at someone, you are sharing your happiness with them.  If you scowl at someone, well then, that’s the opposite of spreading happiness and you are sharing your bad mood!

Some people always seem happy and others seem to never be happy. It’s not so much because everything works out perfectly for them, although some people do seem to go through life unscathed, but it’s because they choose to be happy in spite of everything else.  We all know that person who always sees their cup as half empty instead of half full.   They are never happy with where they are in life or what is going on,  so they always seem dissatisfied, grumpy, bitter, negative.  In my mind, these are some of the saddest people because they waste so much of their life waiting for things to get better, never realizing that they alone have the power to make themselves happy.  We don’t want to be around people like this much because they suck the energy out of us.

Life isn’t perfect.  Life in fact can be very hard and sometimes seems unfair to many of us. It seems some people have all the luck and others can’t catch a break. Those people I say, who keep getting up no matter how many times they are sucker-punched by life, are some of the strongest people I know.  It’s easy to be happy when everything is good.  It’s easy to be happy when you haven’t faced any hardships.   It’s not easy to get up every day and decide to be positive and put a smile on your face despite wanting to run away and give up.  It takes a lot of energy and resolve to keep pressing forward and to keep a positive attitude.  It also takes a lot of faith…..the belief that it will get better.  The knowledge that life is still good!

Recently, the world was moved when a beautiful young woman from Zanesville, OH who calls herself Nightbirde, appeared on America’s Got Talent.  In her late twenties with stage 4 cancer and a 2% chance of survival, this brave and beautiful woman got on stage and sang like a songbird exclaiming positivity.  As she proclaimed onstage, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to decide to be happy.”  What a powerful statement!  And isn’t that the truth, really?  It’s clearly her truth.  She believes in herself and believes that there is beauty and meaning in her pain.  She even said “I am so much more than the bad things that happen to me.”  I don’t see her as a cancer patient.  I see her as a ray of sunshine and hope.

We tend to make life harder for ourselves by overthinking & over-analyzing everything, which is contrary to living in the moment and just accepting things as they are.  Happiness then is a choice.  Choosing to see the good.  choosing to see the beauty in between the pain.  Choosing to see the light even in the darkness.  There is always a silver lining.  There is always a rainbow somewhere. Make it a habit to choose joy over sadness because life isn’t meant not be lived in sadness and worry.  We know that worrying is the opposite of Faith.  We are meant to live our lives Fearlessly and Faithfully with happiness and joy in our hearts, not fear, anger, and disappointment.  It’s hard, I know.  I am imperfect myself in letting things go but I am trying to be better at that and I can tell you when I let go, it feels so much better than hanging on!  Go back in your mind to being a little kid,  holding onto a balloon that you purposefully let go of, just to watch it rise up in the sky and see how far it would go.  Now, pretend that balloon holds inside it everything you need to release, and simply….let…it..go…wherever the wind takes it.

Fearlessly and Faithfully, let it go and choose HAPPINESS!