Now that the holidays are over, we can catch our breath and settle into the New Year. If you’re like me, the hustle and bustle of December have left you feeling exhausted and in need of some time for self-care. I’d like to take a few moments though to pause for reflection on the true gifts of the season we just wrapped up.
No doubt the holiday season is busy and often hectic. We juggle visits with family and friends, holiday dinners and cocktail parties, Christmas shopping, entertaining and baking. It can be overwhelming. Personally, I kind of like the rush. It’s like a one-month sprint to the finish line, reminiscent of cramming for finals back in college. We know exactly what date and time our last exam is and we just have to cram as much preparation in that time leading up to exams and then we can relax for a bit before starting our crazy cycles all over again.
One of the things I enjoy most about the holidays is that it gives us an opportunity to spend time with family and friends and really feel grateful for those moments and those people in our lives. For us, that meant having dinner with some of my husband’s oldest friends, having a girls night with a group of ladies that inspire me to be my best self, having a wonderful overnight anniversary celebration with my husband, catching up with a friend for our annual Christmas happy hour, attending the New Year’s Eve wedding of our dear friends’ daughter, hosting friends and neighbors over to our home for dinner, and last but not least, spending time with family, near and far. It was a busy month.
I am the kind of person who thoroughly enjoys taking the time to find the perfect gift for someone. When choosing a gift, I am trying to select something that will have meaning or somehow bring joy to the recipient. I have to say this year, I received one of the most thoughtful gifts from one of the aforementioned friends. It was a simple coffee mug that says “Fearless” on the front, and on the back, outlines all the ways to be fearless. That my friend saw this mug and thought of me, speaks volumes. She sees me as fearless & courageous. She has been with me through some of my struggles and I have walked beside her through some of hers. I could just have easily picked out this mug for her had I seen it, for I could say the same things about her. I see her strength. She sees mine. I see her determination and fighting attitude. She sees mine. I see her resilience. She sees mine. In the end, the best gift of all wasn’t the actual mug. It was the message on the ug which I consider to be a huge compliment and form of validation.
What is so powerful to me is that growing up, I would have never described myself as fearless. If anything, just the opposite would have been true. I was afraid of many things….afraid to make a mistake, afraid to make a bad choice, afraid to take a chance, afraid to be embarrassed, afraid to be alone, afraid to fly, etc. I lacked the confidence to be fearless. It wasn’t until I was doing an internship in college that my mentor described me as “fearless” in his review of me. I will never forget his words because they were some of the most powerful words anyone had to that point used to describe me. He said “Nancy is seemingly fearless in her ability to tackle the assignments I present her. Whereas other students may be intimidated by the assignment, she jumps right in.” All I knew is that I was doing what was asked of me. I didn’t realize he was testing me. Looking back, that was a turning point for me. Because someone else had described me as “fearless”, I began to adopt that mindset that yes, I can be “fearless.” I can be bold. I can do things!
My point is that sometimes we don’t see in ourselves that which others see in us. Sometimes self-reflection is hard. Often times we sell ourselves short and minimize our best traits or skills. If you are wondering how others see you, just ask a couple of your good friends or colleagues whom you respect. I did this a couple of years ago and I can tell you, it was very enlightening. Perception is reality and while we shouldn’t live our lives trying to win a popularity contest or trying to be all things to all people, it can be helpful and useful to get that kind of feedback from people in your inner circle, especially if you are struggling with issues of self-esteem, contemplating making big changes in your life, or just wanting to pause for some self-reflection to make sure you are operating at the frequency you wish to be at.
So for 2022, let’s resolve to move through the year with a Fearless and Faithful attitude that we can face whatever the new year brings us, both good and bad, and have faith that we do not walk our path alone. Be Fearless. Be Courageous. Be Powerful!